i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
