just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
