Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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