i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I didn't notice because vodka
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
