she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
