i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
