Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
