Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
