of course. lets lasso hookers.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
