I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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