You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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