it's like iHOP with fire
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
