That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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