i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
