Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
3 2 1 whiskey
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
