Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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