Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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