My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
