I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm always down for nudity.
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