Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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