My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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