Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
