You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
