So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
