How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
