my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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