Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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