are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
