Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
