it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
