new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
