similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Randomize
