I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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