for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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