CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It was confusing and full of hummus
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
