If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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