try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
