Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
