I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
