I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
