How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
