he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
