Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
