I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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