i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
