all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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