And the cops told us we were all naked.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just high enough for therapy.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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