Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
