so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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