Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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