i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
