I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
