I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
