the condom got lost in my hair
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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